I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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