You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
