OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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