Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
