youre lurking in front of me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
