If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
