he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
