: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
