come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
