So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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