the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
