susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
