remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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