just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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