Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
one two three fourrrrnication!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize