we're blogging at a bar
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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