bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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