it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
