So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we're making bets on your personal life
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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