I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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