Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
