why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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