I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize