Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
