He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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