I cockslap morals
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
