Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
