You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
