hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
