Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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