Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize