her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you would pick up someone in the library
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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