Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
