The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
