I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
