i don't like sucking hair
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
