I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
