It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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