Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
