end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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