i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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