Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize