Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
