there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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