He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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