Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
