there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
