I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
