I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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