I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
its liver damage thursday
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
