Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
