Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
