I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize