He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Two words: nipple clamps
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