I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
