put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
