She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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