I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
