I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
